Holding What Gives You Life
As we approach the coming week leading into Thanksgiving, we pause to notice the loss and disappointment of normal routines and rituals which may be set aside for the greater good of our family and communities. It is difficult to consider the things we are thankful for without first noting the losses and grief and pain of this year.
In the book Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life (by Dennis, Sheila & Matthew Linn) the authors tell the story of orphaned children in refugee camps who lost so much. They feared waking up in the morning, homeless and without food. One of the guards realized if each child could hold a piece of bread at bedtime, they could finally sleep through the night with the hope that they will eat again in the morning. By sleeping with bread, they held on to the thing that gave them life.
The Conscious Examen is a simple prayer practice used over the centuries to hold the tension of lament and gratitude. In this practice, we name the things that were difficult losses or disappointments for a particular period of time, as well as the things that were cause for celebrations. We can ask the questions in multiple ways and time periods:
What moment am I Least/Most Grateful for today?
When did I feel drained/most alive this week?
When was I the saddest/happiest this month?
What were the low/high points of the year?
When I was in training as a Spiritual Director at AMBS, I worked on a project connecting Howard Gardner’s Nine Levels of Multiple Intelligence (or learning styles) with prayer practices, which is still taught in that program each year. As an Occupational Therapist, I knew the importance of using our unique strengths to process and integrate information and experiences in purposeful ways for healing. What works for one person many not work for someone else. By using the lens of our learning styles as ways to pray, we can become more conscious and aware of the internal (or unconscious) content bubbling up during stressful times and bring that outside of our body-felt experience in healing ways.
If you learn best by a particular STYLE OF LEARNING, then you may want to try praying or reflecting with the following activities. The activities become a “prayer” when our intent is to communicate with and listen to God’s wisdom that comes to our awareness during the activity. Some of these activities may cross into multiple areas.
WORD/LINGUISTIC/AUDITORY: Lectio Divina, journaling, scripture, reading various spiritual writers, poetry, “blurting” the unconscious chatter in your mind onto paper
NUMBER/LOGIC/MATH: Creating timelines, Pros and Cons list, Life Mapping, Ignatian Discernment process, Hermeneutics (sacred text interpretation), charts/graphs/tables
PICTURE/VISUAL/SPACIAL: Visio Divina (using art), artwork, Praying in Color or doodles, mandalas, collage, Contemplative Gazing
MUSIC/RHYTHM: Singing, humming, chanting, whistle, drum circles, playing instruments, concerts, listening to music
BODY/MOVEMENT/KINESTHETIC: Liturgical Dance, walking a Labyrinth, prayer beads, Praying with Clay/PlayDoh, creating fabric art, knitting a prayer shawl, using different prayer postures, biking, running, pounding a pillow, heavy physical work such as raking leaves or kneading bread, Yoga/Tai Chi, Yoga Nidra
NATURE: Gardening, walk in nature, wilderness trips, Vision Quest, food preparation, petting animals, birding, flower arrangements, water fountains, zen/sand gardens
SELF/INTRAPERSONAL: Centering Prayer, Conscious Examen, individual silent retreat, daily quiet time, goal setting, Practicing the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence), dream work/analysis, meditation, mindfulness
PEOPLE/INTERPERSONAL: Spiritual Director, Anam Cara (spiritual friendship), small groups, group retreats, book discussion group, intercessory prayer, praying out loud with others, sharing faith stories
DEEP QUESTIONS/EXISTENTIAL: “I wonder…” questions, capacity to explore the “Big Questions” of life: What is my soul’s purpose? What is the meaning of life? How did we get here? What happens when we die?
Notice which of the above styles are comfortable for you and a challenge for you. Most of us have several areas that are comfortable to use and at least one area that is uncomfortable to use. Start with those that are more comfortable. Sometimes when we challenge ourselves to try something out of our comfort zone, we have new insights, so don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.
Reflection: As you spend time this week reflecting on the losses and gifts of 2020, I encourage you to try some of these activities and have a conversation with God as you reflect on the laments and areas of gratitude in your life. Perhaps you will share your insights with your family members, and invite them to choose their own unique way of expressing low and high points in 2020.
May you hold the tension of 2020 as you name the difficulties of this year and express gratitude for the things that are life-giving.
